Love Manifested

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 11th, 2011 at 6:44 AM and is filed under Becoming, Belief Tips, Family Matters

“Something amazing happens when we surrender and just love. We melt into another world, a realm of power already within us. The world changes when we change. The world softens when we soften. The world loves us when we choose to love the world.”  –Marianne Williamson

A friend of mine just fell in love.  She describes her state of euphoria as one where she feels joyfully alive, deeply connected, safe and free from the anxious and insecure feelings she had in the past when she tried to direct relationships into being what she wanted.

Instead, this time, grounded in a solid sense of her unique self, and loving open-heartedly, she serendipitously met her new boyfriend the same day she sat on a rock overlooking Marblehead Harbor and declared she was done with shallow men.  In that moment, she became very clear and focused on the types of feelings she wanted to experience in a relationship: unconditional and adoring love, a deep spiritual connection, playfulness, and appreciation.

 Although she always had a strong faith that when the time is “right” her mate would walk into her life, on this day she went a step further.  She specifically asked God for help in clearing any beliefs that prevented her soul mate from entering her life.

Hours later, walking into a bar after a day of bike riding, wearing spandex pants and a baseball cap, she unexpectedly met her next boyfriend, a man with whom she instantly clicked.

And, as I have shared many times in hearing true love stories among my clients, the “package” arrived much differently than anticipated and was better than she imagined.  My friend’s new love is significantly older than she expected her ideal mate to be.  Had she seen him on a Match.com online dating profile, she said she would have bypassed him for both his age, and his profession, which is dissimilar to hers.  He also is divorced and has two children, life situations that did not fit her ideal as a never-married single. 

Yet, in letting go of her more detailed “wish-list” criteria for a single man without children, she was able to be more open to experiencing the feelings she focused on that day on the rock.  In fact, his life experience as a parent brings a depth to their connection, as she is passionate about her work with children.

 In surrendering (with some initial resistance) her ego’s external list of requirements, and opening to her heart’s wisdom, she says she has been expanded in deeply rich and joyful ways.  Choosing to stay unattached to outcomes, she is living in the moment, allowing in the profound gifts of this new level of connection.  

Another wise, happily married friend of mine said you know love is real, beyond the initial stages of infatuation, when you are willing to walk through fire for one another.   It is my sense that to be able to serve another at that level of care and intimacy, we first must be willing to walk through fire for ourselves. 

In other words, we each need to spend some time independently cleaning up our own internal saboteurs to open our hearts.  Empathy is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and we cannot truly feel for another if we are not in touch with our own feelings (even the sad, angry, frustrating or disappointing ones).

Another person cannot be a shortcut to our own healing–nor can work or hobbies if they are used as distractions to squelch our pain.  We each have to carry (or release) our own load.  Then, from self-love, together we can enhance each other’s journeys forward with compassion and joy.

 BELIEF TIPS OF THE WEEK:

  1.  I allow myself to walk through my own fire to prepare my heart and soul for the best of life and love.

 2.  I allow myself to be open to love that is grander than I imagined.

 Beth Shedd’s photo symbolizes the power of walking through your own fire before you can attract and claim lasting love.

FALL COACHING PACKAGES:

  • “Attracting True Love” (a six-week coaching package of clearing limiting beliefs  done by phone) is now available.
  • “Welcoming New Possibilities:  Letting Go/Letting In” (a three-session coaching package walking the sands of Crane’s Beach) is available through the end of October.

To sign up or learn more, contact Gail at 978-887-1911 or GailJones@SupportMatters.com

 

 

 

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One Response to “Love Manifested”

  • Lauren:

    This reminds me of a quote I saw yesterday, “Don’t Put the Key to Your Happiness in Someone Else’s Pocket But Into Your Own.” So true, self-love, self-fulfillment, then the other person is the topping on the cake but we ARE the cake!

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