How I met my boyfriend

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 25th, 2014 at 10:02 AM and is filed under Becoming, Belief Tips

Bill blog photo smaller

 

“And think not you can

Direct the course of love,

For love,

If it finds you worthy,

Directs your course.”

–Khalil Gibran

 

(Second in a three-part series on “An adventure of the heart”)

Immersed in writing my book at my friend Carrie’s home overlooking acres of beautiful meadows, I was fully focused and committed to my work in progress.

I set up a morning routine, awakening early to meditate, followed by an six-or eight-mile walk along the river’s edge in Newburyport to clear my mind for a day ahead of writing.  Then late morning, I would drive over to Carrie’s and commit four to six hours to my book.

One day, as I was walking along my favorite path beyond beach plum roses, I bumped into a tall, handsome and kind man who I later learned was named Bill.   We met at what we both considered “a dangerous curve” where the tall grasses bow into the street enough to potentially block a driver’s view of walkers about to turn a bend.

Instead of removing ourselves from this dangerous spot, we stood there and talked for 45-minutes.  The conversation flowed effortlessly and I was taken by the thoughtful way in which Bill asked questions and listened–and continued listening even after I disclosed during a discussion about my book that I had breast cancer in the past.  Not only did he not run as some like me who have had a health challenge fear, but he found my healing journey and subsequent mission to educate others through my research and writing intriguing.  He then asked me about my new diet.

Well, all those who know me well, know I don’t carry a cell phone while walking.  It’s my time alone with God uninterrupted to hear whispers of the soul.   I do, however, always bring a business card for safety reasons.  So, I handed Bill my card and said I’d send him my diet if he forwarded me his email address.

He wrote the next day saying he was fascinated by our conversation. A few emails later we were planning lunch at a sweet patio setting.  Bill said he’d pick up the tab, but that I had to select our healthy lunch.

I knew at this point, that although Bill lived four streets from my apartment, that he was moving to Scottsdale, Arizona shortly to be near his son and daughter-in-law who were expecting their first baby.

At the end of the lunch, I thanked him and wished him well on his new move out West.  As he was discarding his plate in the recycle trash bin, he turned around and surprised me by asking me to dinner.  We dated until he left, minus one big snag.  Then, I remembered the wise words of William Bridges, who wrote the book, Transitions:  “New beginnings are messy.”

We both had to clear up a few of our own blocks to make a go out of dating and keep a long-distance relationship thriving.

I have since discovered, as I will share in next week’s blog, there are a few perks to long-distance dating.

I share my story of finding love at age 57 to provide hope for all the singles out there, who like me, may have given up hope of meeting a compatible mate.  I did all the online dating sites, joined clubs doing activities I enjoyed, and met many men through business networking events.

Yet, Bill, who is six years older than me, entered my life when I was committed to and grounded in me, after spending a few intense years doing for myself what I help clients do:  unravel every wound or block I could.  Then, I surrendered, and made living my life to the fullest every moment a priority.

Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mystic, says it best:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

One of the preparations that led to meeting Bill was learning better to receive by letting in help and support from a few dear friends.  As I learned years earlier in my relationship coach training and from reading Receiving Love by Harville Hendrix  and Helen LaKelly Hunt, receiving love is as important as giving it in order for relationships to thrive.  Learning to receive can be a challenge for those who are accustomed to being in charge.

Bill’s generosity and kindness also helped me feel that he “had my back”—which was a huge shift for me coming from a profession (and a lifetime of earlier conditioning) of being there for so many others.

I place no expectations or demands on this new relationship–just a deep gratitude for knowing I have been touched by the grace of God.

In love and joy,

Gail

SUPPORT MATTERS’ BELIEF TIPS OF THE WEEK:

1.    I allow myself to release any blockages, owning responsibility for my own barriers to love.

2.    I allow myself to ground within first to leave openings for love.

3.    I allow myself to honor “surprises” as gifts from God, accepting them with gratitude.

 

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG:  “The perks of long-distance love.” 

I snapped the photo of Bill after he jumped into the fountain outside of our new home in Scottsdale, AZ. I could never have imagined an adventure this wild and fun:)

 

 

 

 

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13 Responses to “How I met my boyfriend”

  • Cynde denson:

    Beautiful story of love Gail. We are so happy for you!

  • I especially like your 3rd affirmation; letting in, acknowledging and honoring “surprises” as gifts and accepting them with gratitude.

  • Gail Kauranen Jones:

    Thanks, Cynde: I look forward to catching up with you and Craig…in Colorado??? Who would have thought it would be easier to connect out West:)

  • Gail,

    I am so very happy for you. You deserve happiness and Bill sounds like a keeper! Stay happy! Have a great Thanksgiving!

    Dick

  • Gail Kauranen Jones:

    Thanks, Margi. Life becomes more fun when we stay open and appreciate every good thing, especially those surprises of grace.

  • Gail Kauranen Jones:

    Dick:

    As one who has seen me through thick and thin, your kind thoughts and good wishes mean even more. May your life be touched by amazing grace as well. Happy Thanksgiving! Gail

  • Linda:

    What a beautiful example of love finding you without
    having to stress and force it to be.
    May you and Bill create years of happiness together
    building a life that keeps peace in your hearts and souls.

  • Gail Kauranen Jones:

    And what beautiful words from you Linda on keeping “peace in our hearts and souls.” PEACE is the word that has been the focus of my life in recent years:).

  • Hi Gail, Jim & I are SO happy for you! Love hearing more details about your adventure and can’t wait to meet Bill. (Love that name, same as my Dad’s 🙂 ) I’m convinced it is YOUR TURN to find love and happiness, you paid your dues and deserve the BEST!. XO <3

  • PS will SHARE this blog – think many friends should hear it – to keep OPEN for love. As you know I met Jim (my 2nd husband) online. He surprised me in many ways, we are happy and married 8+ years – so grateful. AND Happy Thanksgiving! I’m going to get to AZ again one of these days and visit you! 🙂

  • Gail Kauranen Jones:

    Barb: Thanks for all your love and good wishes (and excitement to share mine and Bill’s story with others). Happy Thanksgiving…and look forward to your visiting us in AZ!!! Love, Gail

  • Angela Miele:

    What a beautiful story of love when you least expect it! As the song goes “you can’t hurry love, you just have to wait…” Everything in it’s time, not a minute before not a minute after.
    So happy for you and Bill!
    A very Happy and Joyous Holiday Season to you.
    Love,
    Angela

  • Gail Kauranen Jones:

    Thanks, Angela–and so very nice to hear from you. Happy holidays to you and yours as well. Love, Gail

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