“When your life takes a new direction, that is a part of your growth. Balance is taking place.”—Catherine Ponder, Open Your Mind to Receive.

Waking up full of passion with a clear direction, I am in awe of the magic that happens when we finally listen and act on inner nudges.

Four years ago I wrote in a journal at Gregg Levoy’s “CALLINGS” workshop that it was my life purpose to “write from the heart” and be paid well for it. Through this blog, my e-newsletters and bi-weekly column on change that I wrote for the local newspaper, I have indeed shared my innermost thoughts and feelings—engaging my heart with readers.

However, in re-reading those same seminar notes, I also jotted down others’ observations, particularly my leadership and visionary skills which I often use in my life coaching work. I feel compelled now to integrate all of my talents—writing, coaching and leading. One of the calls I heard, wrote down, but did not act on then was to own a writing business.

Instead, afraid to digress too far from my coaching business I had worked so hard to build, I focused on elevating myself publicly in that arena. Then, the recession hit, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not grow my private coaching niche in a way I needed as a sole breadwinner supporting two children.

Frustrated, I looked for many opportunities to supplement my income, before getting my huge “ah-ha.” The way I have personalized my writing is now needed by most professionals to stay competitive and engage with their clients. The social media craze –and online presence increasingly required to thrive in business– necessitates a whole new way of communicating.

Collaborating with like-minded others &  creating multiple- income streams
are the new models for success for many entrepreneurs.

The fact that I am a coach AND a writer brings a depth and integrity to the manner in which I can help others articulate their messages. Yet, I needed other technical and strategic skills to expand.

Through a serious of serendipitous events (stories which I will share in next week’s blog: “Great Minds Dress and Win Alike”), I found the partner whose skills totally complement mine. Sharing my hunch on the need for a business that offered high quality blog and content writing, she and I acted…and fast. We created Blogger Pros.

We just “knew” we were ready to ride a new wave of opportunity and that we each have what it takes to offer high quality content in diverse, unique and comprehensive ways. Within 24 hours, we had a new business Facebook page and within three days, more than 1,000 people had viewed our work.

Co-creating is effortless, fun and engaging. There are many more stories of us I will be sharing as our business adventure evolves (including why our new Facebook page has the #1 after our business name).

For you, my readers, it is my hope that if you also find yourself challenged by current circumstances, that you stay open to redirecting, acting on your inner knowing.  As Catherine Ponder wrote in Open Your Mind to Receive:

“As a progressive and growing being, you are where you are that you may learn, that you may grow. As you learn the lesson which any circumstance contains for you, that circumstance passes away and gives place to other, better circumstances and surroundings.”

Come grow with me, dear readers and clients.  And, if you feel inspired to “like” Blogger Pros or “tweet” or “share” our work below, my partner and I would be most grateful. 

Beth Shedd’s photo of the tree roots expanding in an integrated manner exemplifies the multiple-income stream model of success—and the strength of collaborating by being interconnected.

“Callings are essentially questions.  They aren’t questions you necessarily need to answer outright; they are questions to which you need to respond, expose yourself, and kneel before.”

 —Gregg Levoy, author of CALLINGS, Finding and Following an Authentic Life

Listening and observing our way into our life purpose is not a skill taught to many of us.

Yet, as I have repeatedly shared with my clients in the 20 years of coaching adults in transition, we find our “right” answers most often in silence.

The job search and resumes are actions that ideally should follow a period of introspection.  Making time for solitude and reflection is a necessary ingredient to finding our way, the full expression of  ourselves in the world.

Equally important, our “callings” do not necessarily have to be our life work.

We can accelerate the journey of discovering what may be next for us by asking thoughtful questions.

Several years ago, longing for greater clarity about my own career, I picked up Gregg Levoy’s New York Times’ best-selling book, CALLINGS,  one of the most profound guides of questions and insights I ever read.   Later, I took his workshop, which is being offered locally in less than two weeks as described below.

Here’s a few sample questions he asked us to write about, “shooting from the hip,” without over-thinking the answers:

1.  You are at a major intersection and come to a crossroads.  There are two signs going in different directions.  What words or phrases are written on each one?

 2.  If you were granted one hour of Prime Time TV, what would you talk to the world about?

 3.  What keeps coming back?

My work with Gregg solidified my calling as a soulful writer, and later as a businesswoman and coach.  Re-reading my notes, I saw quite clearly why I was prompted recently to expand my business in new ways (details coming in future blogs).

To learn about YOUR calling,  register now at uucr@uureading.org or call 781-944-0494 and come to Reading, MA, May 6.  Engage with like-minded others in finding and following an authentic life.

BELIEF TIP OF WEEK:

I allow myself to stay open to the questions, trusting life will support my growth.

“Safety doesn’t lie in what’s familiar, even though we want to believe the status quo supports us. We are most ‘safe’ when we are fully engaged, feeling alive,  and risking full expression of ourselves beyond where we have been. TRY SOMETHING NEW TODAY.”

–Gail Kauranen Jones, Life Coach, Author/Writer, Belief Change Expert.

  Eagerly awaiting  for many possibilities to unfold, I sit quietly today in gratitude appreciating the simple moments of life. 

Like I advise my clients to do, I have taken many daily actions of  trying new things  or approaching tasks or challenges in new ways. 

Right now, I am in the incubation stage, while also resting and integrating from all I have put forth.  Wishing you, my readers and clients, a very happy spring. 

Going forward, I will be sharing my own short “words of wisdom” sporadically through this blog, in addition to my more in-depth, bi-monthly articles.

 Beth Scanzani’s photo of “life in full bloom” brilliantly  inspires us to believe in the possibilities we can bring forth by trying something new.

 “Almost any difficulty will move in the face of honesty. When I am honest I never feel stupid. And when I am honest I am automatically humble.” –Hugh Prather

 Most of us have been blind-sided at one point in our lives, when a person or circumstance does not turn out to be what we hoped.  Jolted by the disparity between what we thought would occur and what is actually happening can shake us to the core.

 We can immerse in finger-pointing, angrily blaming the other for catching us off-guard, not delivering as expected.  Feeling the anger, sadness and disappointment is often a needed step in the healing journey. 

 Increasingly, however, I am also learning to become a detached observer versus a victim of what seems like a betrayal.  In “observer mode,” I ask my higher power, “What can I do differently next time to learn from this hurt?” 

One such lesson is learning to put ourselves first, by grounding within, before assuming another is looking out for us.  We are our best source of our wisdom, not some external source.  Everybody carries “stories” from their past, some of which are mistakenly projected onto us.  We also at times mistakenly project “our stuff” onto others.  Learning not to take others’ behaviors personally, as so eloquently described in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, is a major life skill.

On a practical level, we can build in some safeguards as we discern the trustworthiness of others.  Professionally in the past as a younger PR professional, two people who owed me significant sums of money did not pay, claiming upon the due date that they did not have it.  As a result, in future business dealings, I required a monthly retainer upfront before commencing any work for a client. 

Trust is earned, not a given.  As much as we may like or respect someone, it takes time to know if someone is honorable and acts in integrity.  We need to own the responsibility of protecting ourselves by not assuming others are looking out for us. 

We can further avoid professional betrayals by being authentic, claiming our value and choosing to be paid appropriately for our services.  Random and generous acts of kindness can still have a place in our lives.  However, if we consistently “give it away” to all who cross our paths without discernment, we know someplace deep within that we have sold ourselves short.  Hence, the world will mirror that belief to us and pay us less than we deserve. 

Personal “betrayals” are more difficult to absorb as it is sometimes harder to believe those who we have loved and trusted within our inner circles of family and friends would hurt us.  The sting of these wounds can be gut-wrenching. 

Yet, we cannot will another person into behaving in a way that best serves us. The only things in life we have control over are our own thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. 

Upon reflection, I have also learned in some of these deceits that it was me who betrayed myself by not living into my authenticity, knowing my value for who I am, not what I give.

We are all are imperfect at times.  Or, in the words of Hugh Prather: “I sometimes react to making a mistake as if I have betrayed myself. My fear of making a mistake seems to be based on the hidden assumption that I am potentially perfect and that if I can just be very careful I will not fall from heaven. But a ‘mistake’ is a declaration of the way I am, a jolt to the way I intend, a reminder I am not dealing with the facts. When I have listened to my mistakes I have grown.”

One of the mistakes I have made is in overcompensating with others, trying to give them the childhood I never had.  That strategy backfires, for we can never truly give others the happiness they need to find uniquely in themselves.

The “betrayal” was in looking outside, overextending myself to others, to heal the wound within that is mine to release. 

In the process of that discovery, I have chosen to live from the center of my truth, no matter how others perceive or want me to be.  That self-acceptance is not contingent upon being or doing anything to win anyone else’s approval.

 “Betrayal is about learning not to idealize external sources.”
– Linda Talley 

BELIEF TIP OF THE WEEK:

1.  I allow myself to claim and stand firm in my own truth.

2.  I allow myself to choose reciprocal and respectful relationships.

3.  I allow myself to pace getting to know someone to discern a person’s trustworthiness.

 Beth Shedd’s foot traffic photo from the Boston Marathon reminds us to not allow ourselves to be stepped on or discarded for someone else’s gain.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND: 

• Gail’s most powerful workshop, “Claiming Your Value as Enough.” TONIGHT (Tuesday, 3/27/12) , 7 to 8:30 at The Human Nature Wellness Center, 7 Page Street, Danvers, MA .  $50 fee (to experience $300 worth of coaching with like-minded others).  Call SupportMatters at 978-887-1911 to register.

                 AND

• Gail’s one-on-one  private coaching walking the sands of Crane’s Beach in Ipswich.  Scheduling appointments now for the month of April.  Email gailjones@supportmatters.com  to set up your coaching session.

Imagining being linked arm-in-arm with my carefully grown circle of those who love and respect me, I am stepping it up in courage and saying one of the biggest “Nos” of my life.

In this big leap into the unknown of creating a new boundary of self-respect and love, I consistently and fervently visualize this strong team of competent and secure people beside me, tightly connected, in honor of growth. 

 At the same time, I am intentionally building an inner fortress, freeing myself to live at higher levels of authenticity, joy and freedom.   A fortress, according to one definition at dictionary.com, is “any place of exceptional security; a stronghold.” 

Often a nurturer who provides a shoulder to cry on or a safe place to land for others, I also am becoming a force to be reckoned with.  Take advantage of my goodness and generosity or deceive me in any way and you are out.  Door closed. 

A new stake in my mind has been placed, a boundary no one can cross.  Before acquiescing to anyone or anything, I stop, pause and ask:  “How does this serve me or others at my highest levels of integrity?” 

While it may look like I am detaching temporarily from a few people who hurt me, on a grander scale I am letting go of a behavior that no longer serves me.  Conditioned as a young girl to take care of others at the expense of myself, I have long assumed too many responsibilities.  Thinking I was “protecting” others, I served as an enabler and rescuer, letting some people use me for their good without any concern for my needs or well-being.  Learning to take beyond simply receiving is a new journey for me, and many other caregivers I know.

I am giving myself the same compassion I teach my clients to embrace when they see a behavior about themselves that they do not like.  I also have created periods of quiet to grieve the hurtful ways I allowed others to treat me, thinking their happiness and ease in life was more important than my own.  Even the Bible says “Love your neighbor AS thyself,” not more than, or instead of, yourself.

This over-responsible behavior, in the DNA of my hands (check out this powerful, scientific work with leading- edge coach Linda Salazar at http://awakenthegeniewithin.com/html/hand-analysis.html)  has been so hard-wired into how I have functioned in the world, and with those who I have loved, that letting it go has been both terrifying and exhilarating.  Nights of terror sobbing into my pillow have been greeted by mornings of increasing lightness and a greater sense of well-being.

Each brave step forward of saying “No” is causing noticeable shifts in me, where friends and colleagues have recently commented on my new aura of grace.  A few weeks back they were sensing my stress, asking if something was wrong.  Some heard me cry from that deep place within where I felt in every cell of my body that I was being torn apart in pain.

“Hitting a wall,” when I felt I had no resources left, I came to this divine place of self-preservation where it no longer mattered what anyone thought of me.  My sense of worth, whether or not I had a damn thing to give anybody, had to be claimed.

We all have stories or behaviors from early life conditioned into how we express ourselves as adults.  Some people live in relationships numb, afraid to embrace conflict, thinking expressing appropriate anger will damage them.  In truth, telling someone when they hurt us can be healing and deepen a relationship, not make it go away as those with abandonment wounds sometimes fear in speaking up. 

And, if someone leaves us because we express a hurt or need, he or she was not mature enough to be in be in a healthy, long-term relationship with us.  Communicating by listening, negotiating and compromising are part of the glue that holds a relationship together.  Bullying, stonewalling or withdrawing are polar opposite behaviors that destroy relationships.

Releasing people who act disrespectful towards us can be seen as an act of love, for in teaching healthy boundaries we give these others the chance to step into their own personal responsibility.  And for those who we love unconditionally, we can pray that in the right time, they who have hurt us will return to us in new ways.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.  Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.  Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”  –August Wilson, American writer.

Next week’s blog, the final in a 3-part series, Tuesday, March 27th:  “Blind-sided by betrayal into new levels of authenticity.”

(To read Part 1 of the “Tough Love” blog series, which ran last Tuesday, March 6th, click  here:  http://www.supportmatters.com/2012/03/tough-love-putting-on-your-own-oxygen-mask-first-part-1/)

BELIEF TIPS OF THE WEEK:

1.  I allow myself to find the courage to release behaviors or patterns in my life that no longer serve me.

2.  I allow myself to build support within and from a team of competent others to honor me in moving forward in healthier, new ways.

3.  I allow myself to initiate an action or have a conversation with another that brings my life back into integrity.

Beth Shedd’s photo of the substructure of The Eiffel Tower reminds us to focus on the webs of strength and support within and from others when we are most tested.

 –Brian Tracy, Self-Development Author and Motivational Speaker

Note from Gail:

Today’s blog is the first in a three-part series, where I walk you through the internal look at the changing of a belief.  I believe this series is my most powerful work yet.

I bare my soul, and stand as a model in my vulnerability, so you can see that moving forward and up in life sometimes involves first being in angst to release the pain of letting go of a way of being that no longer serves us.  The end result for me has been an opening to feeling lighter, more empowered and excitedly alive than I have ever experienced in my life.

 It is by disclosing what we are thinking or feeling to another that we arrive at greater awareness as thought leader Brian Tracy who is quoted above so eloquently notes. 

 With courage, I share with you this intimate glimpse of my journey.

 * * *

The past two weeks were tumultuous and life-transforming, as I realized at a cellular level how my earlier conditioning to help others– sometimes at the expense of my own well-being– limited and exhausted me.  As we are advised when flying, in the event of an emergency, we must first put on our oxygen mask before assisting another.

 Many of us, women in particular, some parents, and those in the care-giving or “helping” professions, often overextend ourselves, putting others’ needs before our own.  For those “who give too much,” learning to fill ourselves up first is required so we can give more genuinely–without rescuing or enabling, but from purity. 

 Insight is great, but it does not necessarily change behavior.  To truly change, we must unearth the belief that has held us back.  Often these beliefs are rooted and “hidden” in our subconscious during the first seven years of life.  Some even think these limiting beliefs are in our DNA.  Most of us need a coach or an outside skilled observer to help us identify where or why we have become stuck.

In being hurt and bullied by those who I have loved dearly, I saw clearly that I had said “yes” so much at the expense of my needs that saying “no” was foreign to those who know me well. 

When I said “no” in honesty because I did not have the resources to deliver on what was requested of me, I was ignored.  The more I insisted on sharing my truth, the more these others got angry with me, and eventually disengaged from me. 

Looking back from my new place of awareness, I know now that bullies are just very scared people who use anger to attack versus look within to see first where they are frightened and feeling inadequate.  Responding at a bully’s level keeps everyone in fear. 

In opting to move forward in bigness and love, I had to look within at my role in the dysfunctional exchange and choose to heal it.  As a powerful coach with tools and techniques to help others transform their lives, I became even more frustrated at experiencing this painful place within myself where I was stuck.

My healing accelerated when I shared my hurt with those in my inner circle and let them “see” me raw and scared, almost in a state of terror as I let go of the comfortable and familiar ways of  being “the giver.”  Staying in truth, I spent many mornings literally on my knees asking for God’s help as I reclaimed my sense of value for being me, without attachment to doing something for someone else (which I literally could not afford to do) to prove my worth.

The shift came, when in exhaustion, I surrendered.  I let go of my ego, my will of how the healing was to occur, and let grace in.  People began lining up and standing beside me.  Those who I thought would think less of me for sharing my angst told me they felt just the opposite:  They admired my courage in sharing my vulnerability of learning to say “no” in bigger ways.

TO BE CONTINUED in next week’s blog, Tuesday, March 20th:  “The Courage to Let Go (Part 2 of Tough Love)”

BELIEF TIPS OF THE WEEK:

 1.  I allow myself to disclose myself to at least one person who will not make me feel guilty or ashamed for sharing what has happened or is occurring in my life.

 2.  I allow myself to receive feedback with detachment, learning that I am worthy and valuable even as I acknowledge my imperfections of being human.

 3.  I allow myself to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.

Beth Shedd’s photo of this Wellesley High School wall mural depicts the elation that comes from courageously sharing our truth with others and feeling our value reflected back.

“Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”

–Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth:  Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.

Enough is a mindset, not an acquisition.  It is not something we get from outside of ourselves by working harder, buying more, giving much to others, achieving the best—or in receiving accolades from others.

Others cannot define us and our worthiness.  We must assume that responsibility.

Living with a sense of enough begins with giving to ourselves first, the internal validation of knowing we are valuable “as is” whether we have money, credentials or any other external markings of success.

So many talented people I know have stopped short of excelling in their fields, or even in making their work visible, thinking erroneously they are not good enough because they do not have a degree or enough training, experience or certification to validate their innate talents and precious gifts.

Others live feeling “less than” because they cannot contribute financially to the degree they hoped, forgetting the emotional support and physical presence they provide others are of themselves valuable contributions.

There are singles who feel they are not attractive enough to find a mate, athletes not strong enough to win, and kids not good enough to win their parents’ or others’ love and approval.  The lists go on and on in the ways we can be conditioned by societal standards to feel less than.

Coincidentally, I began preparing the seminar I am teaching tonight  (CLAIMING YOUR VALUE) the week of Whitney Houston’s tragic death.  During one of her interviews with Diane Sawyer which was replayed many times, Whitney said she never felt “enough” to perform with Kevin Costner in the movie, The Body Guard.  Her fame, beauty and talent could not give her the sense of greatness that she was unable to claim for herself.

At the other end of the spectrum, I recall my daughter returning from volunteering at an orphanage in Africa a few years ago, sharing with me a significant observation she had.   She said the children she worked with were the happiest people she had ever known.  Yet, they had no parents and were living with AIDS.  Their sense of abundance exceeded what many of us experience, who have so much “more” in basic life needs met.  The reason I suspect they exuded such joy was the gratitude they felt for people like my daughter who loved, nurtured and cared for them.

Being grateful is key to feeling a sense of enough.  Taking inventory of what we have versus what is missing can cause an instant shift in any feelings of lack.

Another way we can shift into knowing we are enough is to stop immediately, pause and regroup whenever we feel compelled to give more or too much, buy more or overextend ourselves in any way to prove our worth.  Overcompensating or giving-to-get does not work as the inauthenticity of such a strategy eventually backfires in either burnout or resentment, and often both.

We lose our power when we consistently try too hard or go to the plate for others at the expense of ourselves.  Saying “no” and setting boundaries with others who ask too much of us often turns out to be a big “yes” to reclaiming feelings of self-love.

You are enough for being you.  Take the time to appreciate and value your uniqueness—without comparing yourself to anyone or any external standards of perfection or success.

  “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”–Anna Quindlen

 BELIEF TIP OF THE WEEK.

  I allow myself to know I am enough.

  We are ENOUGH –coming from our own center amidst the ripples of life –as exemplified by Beth Shedd’s beautiful nature photo.

“It’s always darkest before the dawn.”—Proverb quote

As our days are getting physically lighter, I have noticed people’s moods improving as well.  My spirits continue to rise as I take time to notice all the angels who have appeared in my life.

These angels have come in many forms, and expressed themselves in unique ways.  I have met many of mine—or perhaps was most open to receiving them—when I hit a wall, or what looked like rock bottom at the time.

One who was even named Angel appeared in the middle of the night following a torrential wind and rain storm that blew out the power.  No kidding. Angel arrived as the water level in my flooded basement was approaching dangerously high levels close to the boiler.  I had just called ServiceMaster, a disaster recovery firm, and chatted with a kind man on the other end of the phone who spoke broken English.  This man assured me he would be there within minutes.  He arrived with a smile, calming the panic in me and respecting my maternal instincts of not wanting my son to wade in water with me to empty the water.

After pumping out the basement, humming as he took control, Angel left with that same smile in which he entered my home.  He took no payment for his 2 a.m. emergency call to my house.  That incident was two years ago.

A few years before that, on a day after a snowstorm when my mother was being hospitalized for the umpteenth time and my nerves were totally frazzled, a friend appeared at my doorstep, shovel in hand.  Mind you, this friend is probably all of 5’2’.  She shoveled away with a grace and determination that reminded me in every cell of my body what love entails: being there for another through thick and thin.

Many of us, me included, have had many more “thin” times these last several years.  I particularly respect other single mothers who are often called to be stronger than they ever imagined they would have to be.  House maintenance issues sometimes bring us to what feels like the breaking point, after taking care of so much else solo, particularly the well-being of our children.

I have since learned that those breaking points were my wake-up calls to reach out and ask for help.  We are not supposed to do this journey alone, feeling separated from others.  We are all connected, part of a greater whole, and we all have gifts to share.  Giving AND receiving are part of the flow of life.

The man who loved me through downsizing and physically moving my home was given in return my coaching insights and spiritual depth.  The exchange was “equal” although not contracted that way, except by the divine plan of the Universe for us to be there for one another during that time in our lives.  I landed in a new home, and he said he became a better person for having known me, that I taught him how to love.

The woman from my business networking group who reached out eight years ago when I was feeling fragile in my newly single state after a long-term marriage,  gave me an angel on a chain which still hangs in my home office.  I later became her coach, and today we are dear friends.

My list of other angels is expansive, from my mentor coach who so willingly and consistently gave of her time, to the many friends who contributed in their own generous ways from cooking talents, computer help and listening skills to anonymous monetary gifts, client referrals and other significant contacts.

It is often through our vulnerability, or what feels like dark moments in our lives, that we open our hearts to these others, who become our angels.

The ways I have been “fed” by all these angels has lifted me to new levels of service, where I want to spread my own light in greater and more focused ways.

 I welcome roots and an anchor from which to continue soaring, healthy collaborations with like-minded others, stability amidst change and a new flock of prosperity angels who help me up the ante as I give back so much of what has been given to me.

 BELIEF TIPS OF THE WEEK:

 1.  I allow myself to let in angels of support, knowing receiving is part of the flow of life.

 2.  I allow myself to be an angel of giving, sharing my unique gifts so others can prosper under my wings.

 Beth Shedd’s photo of the light shining through the darkness represents the rays of hope that come from giving and receiving support from the angels among us.

 “Limitations live only in our minds.  But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”

 —Jamie Paolinetti, one of the most experienced journeymen in American cycling. 

I have entered a new zone of late, both on a spin bike and in reclaiming a quiet space for my soul to allow and receive in new outcomes.

Initially hesitant to raise my heart rate through more intense aerobic activity, I took on the challenge of spinning to find new ways to bond with my teenage children.  Plus, I had all those extra holiday calories to burn off as quickly as possible.  Working the front desk of a health club as I do part-time, I now feel more compelled to be a model for fitness.

 The first try at spinning was hard, and I thought I would never make it through the 45-minute class.  The next time I took a 55-minute class.  By the third class, I was addicted, feeling connected to my fellow exercise buddies (both my children and other “spinners”) in very powerful ways.  There is camaraderie to working independently towards similar health goals. I imagine marathon runners and other athletes feel that same surge of connection that keeps them motivated to reach new milestones they may not have attained on their own.

Spinning at my health club is done in a dark room, led by a personal trainer, with loud music that is carefully selected to set the pace and keep the participants motivated to push through any resistance of losing momentum or completing the class. 

In that darkened space, connected and focused on my body, the “I” of me disappears, and I have not a care in the world—sort of like reaching a Zen state in meditation.  Looking over at my children during separate workouts with each of them, I feel a deepened sense of love for them, watching them expand in life by pushing their bodies to new heights.  I also value the uniqueness of how they each approach the challenge differently. One is more cautious, carefully pacing the workout.  The other is full-speed ahead, pushing the body to the maximum.

By relishing the care-free, worry-free space within my mind that comes from spinning, I stay in longer periods of wonderment throughout my days.   When required, I still push through mental challenges as I would in climbing a steep hill on a bike. 

Increasingly, however, I am learning to accept that the newness of each day of life, and the outcomes I desire, come as much from letting go as in pushing forward– in the same way my body is relaxed and operating more efficiently after a demanding workout.

Spinning for me is an action-based way to achieve the stillness of a meditative state—and to expand with the company of others while honoring my own needs for solitude. 

Equally important, getting out of my head and into the wisdom my body has become a quick way to help shift perspective and open my life to new possibilities.

When in doubt or frustrated about any circumstance now, I head to the gym—and cheerfully mount a spin bike, ready to be led through new mental and physical terrain while fondly recalling bonding moments with my children at my side.

BELIEF TIP OF THE WEEK:

I allow myself to keep a space in my life (and in my mind) for new possibilities.

 Beth Shedd’s magnificent photo of the Ferris wheel spinning shows the majestic possibilities of staying open amidst the turns of life.

WINTER INDULGENCE

Learn how to instill ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL BELIEFS  for personal and financial success.   

Sign up now for a A SPECIAL THREE-SESSION COACHING PACKAGE 

around this other belief to jump- start your new year.

 Call 978-887-1911 or email GailJones@SupportMatters.com to learn more or register for this perfect winter activity.  Snuggle up by a fire or with a cup of tea in the comfort of your home while being coached by phone using breakthrough techniques. 

Gus, a former banker, is recreating his life as an inspirational writer following his “spiritual awakening” through recovering from addiction. Living and working from the heart, he is also a CFO for an organization called Wise Widowed Parents (WWP), Inc.

Beyond the tangible benefits Gus offers WWP, he empathizes deeply with those in the widowed community, particularly the surviving dependent children. His own mother died in a tragic accident on the family farm when he was a young boy. He uses the blessings from his grief journey to be a positive influence on others. Please join me in welcoming a new voice.

20 Words To Change Your Life
By Gusto
www.gustoramblings.com

As I BEGIN this latest chapter of Ramblings, I want you to IMAGINE your life being transformed into something totally new, fascinating, and liberating. As you follow along, feel free to LAUGH at yourself, for laughter truly is Mother Nature’s best medicine!

Now before you go any further, there is one thing you should always remember about life: BELIEVE that you’re capable of greatness, in fact, you already have it inside of you! It is there, just waiting. All the answers you SEEK to your life’s questions you already possess. The mind is a vast PLAYground, just ready for you to explore it, if you would only TRUST your instincts and LISTEN to your heart. You have the power to CREATE your world as you wish. Once you CONNECT with this awareness inside of you, you will then be able to reach out and TOUCH those around you in a profound way. Your family, friends, and co-workers will be drawn to your magnetic personality!

As I’ve reached middle age, I have come to several conclusions about life, both past, present, and the future. Most of us at this stage in our lives have made mistakes, sometimes causing harm to those we love or to ourselves. And in spite of this knowledge, we must each understand we’re not infallible. After all, we are human and we will continue to make mistakes, which is all part of the process. We never stop learning, right up until the end.

If you feel the same way, one of the biggest lessons I’d like to pass along is this: always choose to FORGIVE yourself first, and then ask it of others. And when others seek you forgiveness, gladly accept their amends. No conditions. No questions. The moment a thing seems wrong to you, or another person’s actions are not what you think they should be, begins your responsibility to PRAY that a change can come through your influence. Above all, hang on to your faith with everything you have, because it too is one of the few things in life that gives us HOPE for a better future–for ourselves, our families, our friends, for everyone.

There is so much of our lives that we can not control. In reality, the only power we have been given is free will; the power to CHOOSE good over evil, right over wrong, up or down, that’s all we can do. Learn to APPRECIATE who you are, those around you, what you have, not what you don’t. Above all, GIVE of yourself freely to others, including your material possessions and the one thing all of us crave for from others–someone who will lend an ear with the gift of time.

Finally, get back to the basics. READ books, articles, and news that provide you a source of inspiration, strength, and comfort. And when your day is done, do what Ben Franklin did daily, by asking yourself just one question; “What good have I done today?” And then WRITE it down. That’s all there is to it. Life isn’t that complicated; it’s really quite simple. We only make it that way with our magical magnifying minds. Once you’ve become aware of this simple concept, you’ll feel a sense of RELEASE that will astound you!

Here are the 20 words you can post for inspiration in 2012: 20 words to change your life.  Happy New Year! Gus.

Gail’s own writing will appear again next week.